At that time, about 18 months ago, I was literally hanging on to life by a thread. My spirit was barely in my body. I was burnt out. I had been told in my dreams and by a seer that I was dying and it felt like a physical death. While my spirit was often not in my body, it was still strong and refused to give up on life. My heart was strong too. My mind was also on board. But my body was depleted and felt abandoned in every way. I had just left my home and put everything into storage. For the first time I had no control over my environment or my health. My body crumbled and wanted the rest of me to crumble with it. I tried so hard to get well. I had to stop working the pace I was used to. My income dwindled and the call to give in was so strong.
For years I had been playing with death. In 2007 I had almost died after returning from Africa after a terrible fall that led to a strangled bowel and major surgery. Only hours from death two dear friends sang my spirit back into my body. They anchored me here with their threads of love and faith. Another friend,a doctor, though convinced I wouldn't make it by the look of me, stayed close and used all her skills and prayers to help me survive. Two of my sons held my hand and their loved sustained me. Another friend took care of the business to make it easier to let go.
Together these threads of love and trust in me and my journey helped me to cling to this world. Together they fought with what seemed like fate. I remember, numbed out with pain and exhaustion, the moment I knew I was going to live. I was only minutes from the gates where we cross into another life and my friend Bec gave me a protea from South Africa, where it had all begun. I took the flower and held it to my heart and felt the thread to death let go and the thread to life grow stronger.
Since that time the thread of death has visited me twice. And only weeks ago I was able to let go again. When my vision that I spoke of here at the beginning crossed my path again, it was clear I had to surrender and make plans to allow it to take form. As I let go of resistance and surrendered to the will of my all knowing Soul consciousness, my body began to heal.
My life has been filled with fear as long as I can remember. Fear of life and fear of death. I have split from my soul in spirit because of the harshness of life many times and my body has felt abandoned over and over again. However, at some point I learned how to retrieve those parts of me; to follow the threads and song lines back to where they had dropped away from my centre, my soul. This retrieval is still occurring to this day. To this moment. Right now as I become vulnerable in the sharing of my story. As I take off another mask here and reveal my most vulnerable self to you.
A week ago, as I sat with my dear friend Aunty Wynn Te Kani, a Maori woman and community elder, she gave me the language to be able to fully articulate this journey. She described the notion of "threads' and we talked together how we have threads that connect ourselves to our ancestors and the elements and landscapes. I had previously considered there beings chords to these places but 'threads' resonate so much better.
Aunty Wynn has kindly taken my hand and is helping me on my new mission to assist those who have lost site of the threads that anchor them to their Whole Soul Self and True Heart Nature to reclaim these threads and make them strong and colourful. We are holding our first sacred circle to do this work together in two weeks time. Finally I surrender and a new chapter begins as I pick up the threads strongly and confidently given to me through my vision all those months ago.
When we take risks and expose our vulnerability and share our dreams we are casting our threads beyond ourselves. Beyond our comfort zone. Beyond our knowing. That is when they become strong again. For in union we become love again. And love is the strongest thread of all.
Have a beautiful day and see how far you can cast your threads of love joy gratitude and peace today xxx