Recently I have been taken on quite a journey to face my personal demons in the shadows.
Yes, I am human, and no, I don’t always get it right.
The morning of my awakening began well. A student had asked me for some extra support to manage an issue of grief and loss, and I was more than happy to meet her at my local reserve where I do my spirit work, and to create ceremony and healing space for her. It all went very well, and I was feeling filled with love and gratitude for my student, and for all the beings of light who had held us in the heart of Mother Gaia.
As I drove away from the carpark, I became aware of a large black 4WD on my tail. I didn’t give it much notice, and concentrated on the road. The speed we were asked to travel was 10KPH as there were often pedestrians everywhere. At first, as there were no pedestrians on the first part of the home stretch which I know like the back of my hand, I went a little past the speed guideline, up to about 20KPH, then when I entered a populated area, I immediately slowed down to 10KPH. Instantly, the car behind me tooted me very loudly. Still in a blissful frame of heart and mind, I thought they must have been warning me something was wrong with my car, so I pulled over and wound down my window and smiled at them. A passenger, a man, stared angrily at me through his darkened window and gave me the FINGER as the woman hit the accelerator and sped past me. They were in their late 30’s – early 40’s I would say.
I can hardly describe what happened next as it was so powerful – I felt this black cloud descend on me at once as I was shocked out of BLISS! Then, an involuntary, huge wave of RAGE – not just anger – came over me instantly – I felt like I could reach out my arm like a powerful magician and zap the car into oblivion. I had to step right out of my energy field to bring myself back to balance, and immediately directed myself, as I have trained myself to do, to filter my energy through my heart, and saturate it with LOVE.
It was not easy, and the dark side of me argued and pleaded to be allowed to distribute its power over the car ahead of me. But I held steady, and kept breathing until it settled. Then I burst into tears. In t4he love energy, I could feel the deep sadness that I felt that humanity has come to this leakage of energies that harm each other. Mine included. I vowed to learn the lesson being taught and watched what unfolded, still with a wounded, sorrowful heart, for the next few days.
The outcome of my observations came as a message from Master Po, a guide who speaks to me in Hawaiian (keep reading as I explain more about this magic at the end of the newsletter). He gave me two words to contemplate: awa (bitterness) nai (to conquer by force). This message has a double-edged sword. It reminds us that we can conquer others when we force out bitterness onto them as the man in the car di when he pointed his finger (sword) in the air at me, and as I was tempted to do when I held back the force of RAGE that overcame me and wanted to reach out and destroy the car in front of me with the people in it. The other side is to learn to conquer our own bitterness, by bringing it into a place of Aloha – LOVE.
I took these two words to my Sydney leadership group soon after this happened and together we gave our own experience of how these words paly out currently in our lives. There was so much wisdom that poured from the circle. In a nutshell, it was about self-love and self-acceptance, forgiving ourselves for when we let the guard down. And realising that we, as leaders, are always on show, our tribe looks to us for guidance, and for us to shine the way. We all agreed that were doing our best to always come from a place of LOVE, patience, compassion and understanding – but that we were also being shown that we had to raise the bar around this – in fact Humanity – you – our tribe – all have to be accountable and raise our bar around this as we awaken from low to high vibrational consciousness.
As the days pass since this story unfolded, I find myself opening up, ready to offer more circles for healing and learning as time passes. I feel excited about what is to come, some of which I am aware of, and some of which is yet to be discovered. And, I have a greater awareness that this consistent way as a conscious being will require me - us - to call in Giraffe spirit to stretch beyond reactive behaviours and walk in Aloha spirit at all times.
Yes, I am human, and no, I don’t always get it right.
The morning of my awakening began well. A student had asked me for some extra support to manage an issue of grief and loss, and I was more than happy to meet her at my local reserve where I do my spirit work, and to create ceremony and healing space for her. It all went very well, and I was feeling filled with love and gratitude for my student, and for all the beings of light who had held us in the heart of Mother Gaia.
As I drove away from the carpark, I became aware of a large black 4WD on my tail. I didn’t give it much notice, and concentrated on the road. The speed we were asked to travel was 10KPH as there were often pedestrians everywhere. At first, as there were no pedestrians on the first part of the home stretch which I know like the back of my hand, I went a little past the speed guideline, up to about 20KPH, then when I entered a populated area, I immediately slowed down to 10KPH. Instantly, the car behind me tooted me very loudly. Still in a blissful frame of heart and mind, I thought they must have been warning me something was wrong with my car, so I pulled over and wound down my window and smiled at them. A passenger, a man, stared angrily at me through his darkened window and gave me the FINGER as the woman hit the accelerator and sped past me. They were in their late 30’s – early 40’s I would say.
I can hardly describe what happened next as it was so powerful – I felt this black cloud descend on me at once as I was shocked out of BLISS! Then, an involuntary, huge wave of RAGE – not just anger – came over me instantly – I felt like I could reach out my arm like a powerful magician and zap the car into oblivion. I had to step right out of my energy field to bring myself back to balance, and immediately directed myself, as I have trained myself to do, to filter my energy through my heart, and saturate it with LOVE.
It was not easy, and the dark side of me argued and pleaded to be allowed to distribute its power over the car ahead of me. But I held steady, and kept breathing until it settled. Then I burst into tears. In t4he love energy, I could feel the deep sadness that I felt that humanity has come to this leakage of energies that harm each other. Mine included. I vowed to learn the lesson being taught and watched what unfolded, still with a wounded, sorrowful heart, for the next few days.
The outcome of my observations came as a message from Master Po, a guide who speaks to me in Hawaiian (keep reading as I explain more about this magic at the end of the newsletter). He gave me two words to contemplate: awa (bitterness) nai (to conquer by force). This message has a double-edged sword. It reminds us that we can conquer others when we force out bitterness onto them as the man in the car di when he pointed his finger (sword) in the air at me, and as I was tempted to do when I held back the force of RAGE that overcame me and wanted to reach out and destroy the car in front of me with the people in it. The other side is to learn to conquer our own bitterness, by bringing it into a place of Aloha – LOVE.
I took these two words to my Sydney leadership group soon after this happened and together we gave our own experience of how these words paly out currently in our lives. There was so much wisdom that poured from the circle. In a nutshell, it was about self-love and self-acceptance, forgiving ourselves for when we let the guard down. And realising that we, as leaders, are always on show, our tribe looks to us for guidance, and for us to shine the way. We all agreed that were doing our best to always come from a place of LOVE, patience, compassion and understanding – but that we were also being shown that we had to raise the bar around this – in fact Humanity – you – our tribe – all have to be accountable and raise our bar around this as we awaken from low to high vibrational consciousness.
As the days pass since this story unfolded, I find myself opening up, ready to offer more circles for healing and learning as time passes. I feel excited about what is to come, some of which I am aware of, and some of which is yet to be discovered. And, I have a greater awareness that this consistent way as a conscious being will require me - us - to call in Giraffe spirit to stretch beyond reactive behaviours and walk in Aloha spirit at all times.
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